It’s a new year though and whilst we’d always postponed decision making for 2019, we started talking recently about the question weighing on our minds; Are we going to move back home? We love our lives at the moment but London is a transient place and we have said goodbye to so many of our couple friends who have their kids here and then move home to be around family whilst raising their kids.
As our family is dispersed among Australia, Malaysia and Hong Kong, there isn’t a great pulling power for us to head home. If anything, I’d have to find my feet again and find out how to parent in Sydney all over. Figure out the schools, the good parks, find our favourite family restaurants, get weekly shopping done, getting used to new produce to suit my family’s tastebuds. It all seems a lot of effort and I’d give anything at the moment to just have a nice little updated Victorian terrace house in London to raise our children in.
So herewith is my list of London versus Sydney comparing how we’d raise kids in both.
1) NCT groups versus local council run mother groups.
I paid for our ante natal classes in London. It seems to be a thing all the new mums do to meet local mums here. The other locally run children centres and clinics don’t seem to have as much pull in my experience for meeting new mums. Perhaps because there isn’t a commitment for mothers to attend weekly since it’s free and so I haven’t really established good friendships through those. In Sydney I understand the local council runs mother groups and I have heard many sing praises of the friendships they’ve built from these groups that last beyond maternity leave and their children become fast friends. Half of our NCT group have moved away though since Greater London doesn't seem to be the place people tend to imagine themselves raising kids, too expensive, too polluted or not enough of a work life balance. Whilst this works for first time mums it generally doesn’t work for subsequent children though as toddlers will be bored at baby sessions or are sometimes generally not allowed. In this I’d say the alternative is to huddle with the other second time mums at toddler playgroups or classes and compare notes or commiserate together.
2) Walking versus driving everywhere.
I have become reliant on public transport in getting me everywhere with my children. Buses and trains take me directly to some free museums, city farms and parks that are extremely engaging for my little ones. In Sydney, I’d probably be looking to local libraries, parks and the beach for free kid friendly hangouts but most places are via driving access and I don’t know if I could get used to screaming babies in tow when I am battling traffic or finding a parking space.
3) Jumping in puddles versus heading to the beach.
Got Peppa Pig to thank for this one but in Autumn/ Winter British kids just live in Wellies. I must say it is a great way to encourage them to walk more as I almost never need a pram for our school run if I can assure her there’s a host of muddy puddles for her to look out for along our way home. If we were in Sydney however, our place was only fifteen minutes away from some of the best beaches in the world so I’d probably be slathering sunscreen on my toddler instead of slipping on wellie liners.
4) Compliance parenting versus Australian parenting styles.
British children are raised to be polite and obedient in a very traditional way. Children are just not allowed to tantrum in public. I remember a British old lady telling me off when I was letting my baby practice walking along the pavement one evening. She said to me this was going to take us all night to get home innit? With the Brits I can never quite tell if they are being passive aggressive or just wry. I usually respond in nervous giggles if in doubt of their intention. I find Australians conform to more modern if American styles of parenting, such as Breast is best, Baby led weaning and Gentle sleep training methods as opposed to formula feeding, purées and Crying it out. It may just be in my circle of experience but I did find I was on my own in London when I employed Australian preferred methods to my child rearing.
5) No poisonous spiders or lizards to worry about.
Seriously everything in Australia can kill you. Even the birds (according to this article). At most we get Spiders in the flat about a month of the year in UK. Otherwise you hardly ever see them. I just remember and still see on Facebook living in Sydney the terrors of encountering a Huntsman in your closet or a snake in your backyard. I am not entirely prepared to deal with that again especially with inquisitive children in tow.
6) Exposure to all sorts of first generation migrant cultures and a stronger tendency towards bilingualism
In London, as it is such a melting pot of immigrants, I find a lot of the children grow up learning at least two languages. Even the nursery my daughter attends teach French and Spanish as part of their curriculum. This is not something I experienced in Sydney, with most of my husband's contemporaries learning only English although perhaps there may be a shift towards teaching more Mandarin these days given the influx of Chinese migrants that are having children in Sydney and truthfully, for my cultural background, I would prefer that. Also my husband tells me that he is able to feel Australian here in London where else back home he was always made to feel Asian when someone was getting to know him. Subtle difference perhaps but I suppose he’d much prefer the former.
7) British tastebuds versus Australian tastebuds
Eating out in London with kids is boring. Their menus always seem to consist of battered fish or chicken goujons, sausages and some sort of pasta. Frankly, I'd prefer the restaurants to say yes they can do a kids sized version of some of the adult dishes so that our kids can experience a more diverse range of foods without waste. I see they do this in Australian cafes back home and I see children who love their food, eating a wide range of seafoods and cuisines. My own daughter won't even touch avocado, which is devastating for me.
8) The convenience of Amazon Prime. And just generally having access to all global brands available with delivery services.
I have gotten very used to the convenience of living in London with Amazon prime for everything. It sure makes it easier than heading out to the shops with two kids in British weather. This may not be as bad anymore in Australia with online shopping fast becoming a normality too in Sydney but still I thought it was worth a mention.
9) Everybody looks for outdoor space when looking for nurseries in London. Truth be told I don’t think we’d be different in Australia but I suppose good outdoor spaces are harder to find in London. And if you were wondering what to look for when visiting a nursery, I found this article to be helpful in your decision making. My daughter’s current nursery backs out onto the train tracks so I worry about noise pollution for her, but she hardly ever spends time outdoors in nursery so I have made peace with that in exchange for a convenient location for my commute to work around the school run.
10) Snow versus 47 celcius days
London days are cold. We have had many snow days this winter. Far more than I’d ever remember in my few years here. At the same time my Aussie friends’ kids are living in pools because it’s 47°c days down under. It is a huge contrast but given I have one daughter who simply melts in heat and another that finds the cold insufferable, My hands are tied for this one. I will say this though, the nicer weather in Oz does make it easier to organise gatherings at parks and beaches for kids. Here in London we struggle to find non-grotty indoor spaces to take our children to that won’t cost a fortune to play.
So there you have it. London has four clear wins, Sydney has three, and three points where it’s just as good on both fronts.
We might just stay that little longer then to make this work out for us.
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