Anecdotes from my toddler who is nowadays so full of sass:
Dad: are you causing havoc for mummy?
She looks up from the pile of stuff she's pulled out of my kitchen cupboards and grins. "Not yet," she cheekily replies.
She comes to me," Mummy High five?" As I put my hand out she withdraws and says, "Too slow".
Whenever her daddy is eating and she isn't, she'll walk up to him and demand,"Some"
She threw our ceramic monkey onto the tile floor and its head broke off. Two days later I had to take her to the doctor's and she requested we brought monkey in too. "The Dr said no more monkeys jumping on the bed!"
In front of her dad, I cheekily asked," Shall we cut up the Mango tomorrow when Daddy isn't around and share amongst ourselves?" She looks at me with a glint in her eye and says "Yeah!"
Points at my pimple scab and says "Yuck! Mummy face dirty"
Also points at bathroom mould near the taps,"Bathroom dirty". Yes Boss!
At any time when you ask her a question about something she wants or knows, she'd affirm with "Yeah" in the same intonation as "Duh!". All that's missing is the rolling of eyes, although I swear it's there sometimes in my mind.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Settled down, man & wife; is this now the story of my life? The London life as a working mom is still a struggle, but we get by with flowers, food and the occasional travel.
Thursday, 23 February 2017
Tuesday, 7 February 2017
Children tie the feet of their mothers
There's something weighing on my mind and as the universe goes, when you're obsessing over something somehow an article or two that speaks to you will pop up on your social media feed. Perhaps the algorithms are just getting that much better.
I had a fight with my mother during CNY. I think she deserves a better life but she keeps putting others first and not fighting for herself.
I resent that. I have this complex from constantly being deprioritised by her. Other children were always more important than me. She'd take on board all the cousins so that she didn't have a rest day and the aunties could have child free days instead. She would buy toys for them usually using my Wishlist as a gauge as to what they may like but it's not for me. She said it was greater to give your best to others and that joy of giving is our best present.
And when we went on holidays she wouldn't come. Somehow believing that holidays were far too indulgent for her and not working or being 'useful' irked her somewhat. She'd stay behind to work whilst my bro and I went somewhere with a relative. The only holidays she went on she'd need it to be sold to her as meaningful. A networking event for the business, a time to reunite my grandmother with her daughters. Work and the unity of our extended family was all she cared about. Not so her own family unit. We were just meant to be model children who practiced all the values and met her high standards when it came to work ethic, generosity, kindness and selflessness. The only time I'd get to spend time with her is if we joined the family business. That was her only way she would believe. She'd make my sister in law and brother do the same. Marry them to the business because she cannot see a life beyond it. She calls it working for yourself.
I speak of all this in disdain. Yet my husband points out that I am no different ( though I implore he calls me out if I ever make my daughter feel as unimportant as I'd felt all my life) from her. I am my mother although I was raised by my grandmother. I am her in family values and the tireless need to make someone happy. Even the shopping penchant I inherited from my dad is channeled into buying gifts that make others happy. Spending money on myself always left me trying my hardest to justify my purchases with reasons other than I'm worth it.
But this isn't about me. It is my mother, a woman whom I hope would one day live for herself. Practice her meditation, become vegan, and attend Buddhist conferences. Perhaps one day she would allow my dad to pamper her in the way she covets without her feeling like it is not her right. One day she may actually finish her massage or facial relaxed and not jumping out of the bed because she has to rush off somewhere else.
That reminds me then to not make my daughter ever feel like she is not worth it. Whilst balancing it against her sense of self- entitlement. I must at least let her know that her happiness if based upon kind and sensible matters( as opposed to material things), is most certainly worth my attention and my time and one day, hopefully a partner's attention and time. Because I don't want her to be self deprecating, I don't want her to be taken for granted the way my mother is and the way I feel.
Which brings me back to the Indian proverb "Children tie the feet of their Mothers" that I read from an article on Mothers slowing down for their children. This morning when my toddler said to me (as she has been the past few days) that she wanted to walk to nursery, I chose to quash the nagging voice in me that I'd have to carry her half the way, that she'd make me late for my train and instead I allowed her to. She surprised me by not falling down once, not asking to be carried and I still made my train in to work. Perhaps my little girl is growing up too fast and I have to learn to be patient with her demands before she no longer enjoys walking with me and certainly before she learns to no longer ask me for such simple pleasures in life.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I had a fight with my mother during CNY. I think she deserves a better life but she keeps putting others first and not fighting for herself.
I resent that. I have this complex from constantly being deprioritised by her. Other children were always more important than me. She'd take on board all the cousins so that she didn't have a rest day and the aunties could have child free days instead. She would buy toys for them usually using my Wishlist as a gauge as to what they may like but it's not for me. She said it was greater to give your best to others and that joy of giving is our best present.
And when we went on holidays she wouldn't come. Somehow believing that holidays were far too indulgent for her and not working or being 'useful' irked her somewhat. She'd stay behind to work whilst my bro and I went somewhere with a relative. The only holidays she went on she'd need it to be sold to her as meaningful. A networking event for the business, a time to reunite my grandmother with her daughters. Work and the unity of our extended family was all she cared about. Not so her own family unit. We were just meant to be model children who practiced all the values and met her high standards when it came to work ethic, generosity, kindness and selflessness. The only time I'd get to spend time with her is if we joined the family business. That was her only way she would believe. She'd make my sister in law and brother do the same. Marry them to the business because she cannot see a life beyond it. She calls it working for yourself.
I speak of all this in disdain. Yet my husband points out that I am no different ( though I implore he calls me out if I ever make my daughter feel as unimportant as I'd felt all my life) from her. I am my mother although I was raised by my grandmother. I am her in family values and the tireless need to make someone happy. Even the shopping penchant I inherited from my dad is channeled into buying gifts that make others happy. Spending money on myself always left me trying my hardest to justify my purchases with reasons other than I'm worth it.
But this isn't about me. It is my mother, a woman whom I hope would one day live for herself. Practice her meditation, become vegan, and attend Buddhist conferences. Perhaps one day she would allow my dad to pamper her in the way she covets without her feeling like it is not her right. One day she may actually finish her massage or facial relaxed and not jumping out of the bed because she has to rush off somewhere else.
That reminds me then to not make my daughter ever feel like she is not worth it. Whilst balancing it against her sense of self- entitlement. I must at least let her know that her happiness if based upon kind and sensible matters( as opposed to material things), is most certainly worth my attention and my time and one day, hopefully a partner's attention and time. Because I don't want her to be self deprecating, I don't want her to be taken for granted the way my mother is and the way I feel.
Which brings me back to the Indian proverb "Children tie the feet of their Mothers" that I read from an article on Mothers slowing down for their children. This morning when my toddler said to me (as she has been the past few days) that she wanted to walk to nursery, I chose to quash the nagging voice in me that I'd have to carry her half the way, that she'd make me late for my train and instead I allowed her to. She surprised me by not falling down once, not asking to be carried and I still made my train in to work. Perhaps my little girl is growing up too fast and I have to learn to be patient with her demands before she no longer enjoys walking with me and certainly before she learns to no longer ask me for such simple pleasures in life.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Saturday, 21 January 2017
List for a first time parent on items to buy/prepare
Congrats! If you are planning to continue reading this you are likely planning your nursery for your first bundle of joy. Remember, you can always buy things later if you find you need them, but lots of the paraphernalia doesn’t become necessary until they're around 3 months old as they're just too small to do much until then.
I didn't get most this stuff until after as with Amazon Prime things arrive really fast in London and I just went along with it and ordered what I'd need then.
CLOTHING
About 6-10 onesies or baby gros as they call them in UK. Don't buy too many 0000 (newborn) ones. From 4kg onwards they are too big for 0000. They gain between 150-200 grams a week and even a small baby grows out of 0000 quickly!!
My LO fitted in her 0000 for over a month but she was quite small at birth. I had 6 0000 onesies and they were enough. You have to wash a bit more often, but babies generate heaps of washing in any case.
Last thing about these onesies, if you see the zipper ones they're the best and avoid at all costs the ones that have loads of proper buttons (as opposed to push ones)and definitely no to the buttons in the back until your child is big enough to sit up and roll over at around 6-9months.
About 4-6 singlets or t shirts (to wear under the onesies)you would probably want a couple of short sleeved onesies (called vests here) so that he/she can wear them underneath other layers if your baby is born in colder times of the year.
HONESTLY THAT’S IT! People will buy you little cute clothes and outfits that are nice to put them in if you are meeting friends and showing Bub off etc, but I suggest wearing those daily as well, as if you only wear them on special occasions, they’ll get worn about twice and that’s it. Baby will grow super fast.
Besides, I find that people don't gift clothes much as the child grows older so save your pennies for the toddler age to teenage years when you'd still be in charge of buying their clothes.
WRAPS & CLOTHS
They try to market those sleeping bags to mothers because you shouldn’t use blankets to cover baby in the crib because of suffocating risk, but don’t buy them until they're older because babies love to be swaddled for at least three to four months. It reminds them of the womb. Initially muslin wraps will be the best way to do this.
Lots of people recommend the love to dream swaddles. I used it cause it was convenient and because they swaddle with babies hands up by their head which lots of babies like. You would need about 2 love to dream swaddles. But I also wrapped her in muslins until she was almost 4 months.
If you have a messy bottle drinker you'll need some baby bibs. I have a few but rarely used one because I exclusively breastfed until she was weaning. Perhaps get a couple and you can always buy more once you know whether you are using them.
You can never have too many cheap muslin wraps. Get ones big enough that you can swaddle baby in. They should be about 1m length for swaddling. The muslin has stretch factor so you can swaddle baby tightly. They're also good for putting over the pram to block sun or a breeze etc. I have 9 that I use in rotation and use it too as a feeding cover when I need to cover myself when Bub is breastfeeding in public.
Burp cloths - I find that muslins work best for these (see above). I had one in each room and carry one with me everywhere in the pram wrapped over the mattress for when she spits up in her sleep or poo runs out of the diaper (fun!)
Little wash cloths for bathing. I use an 'adult' face towel for her. I put it on her chest and stomach whislt she is in the bath. The weight of the adult one makes them feel more secure after being wrapped/swaddled the whole day. I have three that she uses in rotation.
I also have about 4 baby towels (two of which are freebie ones from the bounty packs) and always have one hanging in the bathroom because you never know when you'll need to quickly rinse the baby (from two months plus) off when they've made a mess and its easier to put them under a tap. This way you never have to leave your baby unattended in a bath and run off to get a towel.
2 x fitted sheet for bassinette/cot mattress
2 x waterproof mattress protector (buy natural not synthetic material)
Small Towels I have one on the change mat where I change her - it is so much easier to wash the towel if it gets poo or pee on it and it keeps her a bit warmer. Newborns get cold very easily and always cry when they have their diaper changed because of that.
EQUIPMENT
Bassinette – I've been told to hire one of the hospital ones because they are really light and portable, so when baby is awake and you need to have a shower or go to the bathroom etc, you can just wheel baby with you. Also, no one tells you how NOISY babies are when they sleep and the hospital ones are clear so when baby makes weird hacking snorting noises you won't have to get up and down all night to check on them, youll be able to see. Bassinettes only get used 3 months max. I hired a Bed nest which you line up to your bed and that was great for me to have in the first four months because I never had to get out of bed at night to breast feed (In the beginning, you still have to get up because newborns poo with every feed so you have to change their diaper every two hours, but once that stopped after 6 weeks, I just take her out, feed and then pop her right back and I go back to sleep). But the BedNest has since had a very tragic case related to it so I think if I ever go back to having number 2, I'd just use our existing travel cot.
Change table - I didn't get one because once babies start crawling/ rolling, these things get dangerous, but in the first month I put the rubber change mat on top of a chest of drawers so that I didn't have to bend over too much, It's better for your back. Then when she could roll we just changed her on the floor on top of the rubber mat. At toddler age, good luck pinning them down for a change. We just chase her around the house until she gets distracted by something and stops.
Pram- Frankly this is a personal choice depending on how you envisage your lifestyle to be with Bub. For e.g, my friend wanted to eat out a lot so she chose one that would be eye level at the table so that Baby gets included in the gathering. Some people get big wheels to navigate cobble stones and outdoor terrain better. I was advised to get one that folds to flat lying position as you shouldn’t sit baby upright until at least six months old. I reckon baby jogger has the best prams price and utility wise for outdoors. I have a bugaboo bee though which becomes a stroller when they are older and is really light so I can easily carry it up and down stairs on tubes and in our flat. Don't bother to buy a bassinette to put in the pram for when baby is under 6 months. They are expensive - we just bought a second hand one off eBay and I only got a coccoon instead of the basinnette. Some others just use their car seat (maxi cosi) and attach it to their stroller chassis (see if you have this option with your choice of pram). Mind you, when she started going to nursery I ended up with a Baby Yoyo as it was tough getting space in the buggy shed plus this stroller folds up tiny and compact for travelling and those narrow cafes and restaurants in London.
Baby swing seat/ bouncer - Get something small that you can move from spot to spot not one of those big giant ones. I'd recommend one that have a vibrating motion so that you don't have to be there constantly rocking them. Id buy second hand or get a friend to lend you one. It'll give you a few minutes to cook dinner or whatever while baby looks around and watches your movements.
Baby Bath - Get something small that has a plug in the bottom so that it's not too difficult to empty. I use a Tippi toes one and it is great! But when she was a newborn we bathed her in the sink with a Puj bath. I bought it second hand and that was great to save water and to save your back from having to bend over too low especially in the early stages of motherhood when you are still recovering.
Baby monitor - Our place is small so we don't really use one, but I know friends recommend the motion and sound ones so that there is an alarm that tells them if the baby stopped breathing!! But up to you.
Baby carrier – a sling is good for small babies, but takes a while to learn how to do. If you want to be able to carry baby around when they get older you really have to start them from birth because they learn to love being so close and the motion and also because you get stronger as bubs gets heavier over time. Baby wearing is quite a big thing now and it is an alternate way to help strengthen the baby's neck muscles if they don't want to do tummy time, I found this really helped My little one put her head up from a very young age even though I never strictly put her on tummy time. If you are interested I would recommend looking up a sling library near you. That way you'll make a more informed decision on which carrier to get. Just don't get a Baby Bjorn - they are horrible for baby's hips! I use the Ergobaby more after the first 3 months when she wass older and no longer needed an insert for it.
FEEDING
Hydrogel breast pads to put in the fridge and then on sore nipples and Lansinoh nipple cream!
If you plan on doing any bottle feeding of expressed milk or in the event you have to use formula then you'll need to buy the following. Some people talk about babies getting nipple confusion (sucking from a bottle is a much different action to sucking from a breast and it can confuse babies to the point they wont take the breast as its much harder than the bottle), but after a week and if breast feeding is established, there is no reason to not introduce the bottle.
I didn't really have a choice to use bottles in the beginning as with her jaundice, I had to introduce formula top-ups. So the list is based on my circumstances where you want to breastfeed but need some feeding equipment. Be careful though, most babies suddenly get fussy at 4 months old and refuse the bottle, so my counterparts shop around for teats until they find one their baby will take. I on the other hand didn't bother so she stopped bottle feeding until 7 months when she took it up again.
Teats - my friend's lactation consultant (L/C) at hospital recommended the Pigeon teats, but specifically the 'SS' teat or the Peristaltic teat, The SS teat's milk flow is quite slow and baby needs to suck hard to get milk - similar to the breast. This teat also fits on Avent bottles. I just used normal avent ones.
A steriliser
Bottle brush and teat brush
A breast pump. The medela swing is highly rated as electric breast pump. I use the Avent electric one and swear by it compared to a manual one. I am already so tired doing everything else, I don't need to be exerting energy manually pumping too. I think your opinion depends on your early breastfeeding experience. If you have a good supply and only need to express occasionally then a hand pump works 100% fine. So my advice is not to buy anything until you know what you need. The hospital will make a pump available for you to use while you are there although in the early days before your milk comes in, this may be quite a futile exercise.
Comfortable feeding chair for night times. I don't have one due to lack of space but did prop myself up with lots of cushions/ pillows in the beginning for before the baby can sit up by themselves to feed. My friend bought one from Ikea for about $50 it looks like the ikea poang chair but is cheaper. The glider chairs you can buy from baby shops are SO ugly but so comfortable. But expensive.
Feeding pillow - I don't always use one, I just use normal pillows/ cushions.
Dummy/Pacifier - Lots of people are against dummies. I wasn't but she didn't know how to take her dummy until she went to nursery and picked up the habit there! Sometimes when babies have a burp/wind stuck they like to suck on something to reduce the pain.
Formula - Have a few small bottles of the ready made ones ready just in case you need to feed after coming home from hospital for whatever reason if your milk hasn't come in, but if you choose powder, don't open the tin until you absolutely need it and also don't buy big tins initially because these things don't last after a month of opening the packaging.
SAFETY
Capsule or Car seat - You have to buy these new because you don't know if the second hand ones have been involved in accidents, which is a hassle because they're expensive. Otherwise you can hire if you just need it for small trips but if you're going to have more than one baby you might as well buy one
You can also get a capsule for the first 6 months. Capsules are easier to get baby in and out of the car without disturbing them because they clip into a base and you can carry the capsule around with you. But these capsules are really heavy with baby inside, just a word of caution.
Otherwise you can forgo the capsule and buy a reversible car seat like the Safe and Sound Meridian AHR or Maxi Cosi one which is a really nice comfy seat that will last them from birth till about age 3-4, but its not portable. Most people get the Maxi Cosi child seat with infant insert so they can use it for a long time. The capsule is too expensive for 6 months of use.
CLEANING
Nappies galore!! For the first three to four weeks you'll go through about 10-12 nappies per 24 hours. Then it settles to about 6-7 diapers a day, but I always carry four in my changing bag before I leave the house. That seems to be my magic number.
Baby wipes. You'll go through REAMS of these. I bought heaps of these from my 2nd trimester onwards. I still had a massive pile of wipes till 8 months because in the beginning I wanted to avoid chemicals on her and so only washed her with water and cotton wool.
A Barrier cream to prevent nappy rash -Sudocream is good but I use Lucas pawpaw usually and only use Sudocrem when there is an actual nappy rash. You must use barrier cream until they are a toddler every time you change a diaper because prevention is better than cure.
Body wash/Shampoo - Babies don’t really need a body wash or shampoo you can just wash them in plain water but if you do buy one I like the Lansinoh organic brand.
An organic sweet almond oil for moisturising and massage. Babies love massage. Also good for soothing cradle cap etc.
Cotton wool and cotton buds wool for wiping bubbies face and buds for cleaning the umbilical cord etc.
A chemical free clothes washing powder for baby clothes. I use a bio washing detergent anyhow because Mr.HEA has sensitive skin, but this one is up to you.
MEDICINE:
Infant Panadol - you can use this from 1 month onwards and might need it when baby goes for 6/ 8 week immunisations. She had a bit of a fever and felt unwell after her immunisations. It is good to have some on hand - no doubt you'll need it in the middle of the night when you can't find a 24 hour pharmacy. I didn't realise they sell it in sugar free options too, but definitely something you'd look out for.
Thermometer to measure temp - I recommend ones that go into the ear or now they have those laser ones, but I have been told that they aren't that accurate. I hardly ever measure her temperature, I just use my hands to touch the back of her neck to see if she was warm or cold. Babies' hands and feet are always cold because they don't regulate temperature very well. So always feel the back of their neck.
Infacol - It is really good for when baby has winds/cramps.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I didn't get most this stuff until after as with Amazon Prime things arrive really fast in London and I just went along with it and ordered what I'd need then.
CLOTHING
About 6-10 onesies or baby gros as they call them in UK. Don't buy too many 0000 (newborn) ones. From 4kg onwards they are too big for 0000. They gain between 150-200 grams a week and even a small baby grows out of 0000 quickly!!
My LO fitted in her 0000 for over a month but she was quite small at birth. I had 6 0000 onesies and they were enough. You have to wash a bit more often, but babies generate heaps of washing in any case.
Last thing about these onesies, if you see the zipper ones they're the best and avoid at all costs the ones that have loads of proper buttons (as opposed to push ones)and definitely no to the buttons in the back until your child is big enough to sit up and roll over at around 6-9months.
About 4-6 singlets or t shirts (to wear under the onesies)you would probably want a couple of short sleeved onesies (called vests here) so that he/she can wear them underneath other layers if your baby is born in colder times of the year.
HONESTLY THAT’S IT! People will buy you little cute clothes and outfits that are nice to put them in if you are meeting friends and showing Bub off etc, but I suggest wearing those daily as well, as if you only wear them on special occasions, they’ll get worn about twice and that’s it. Baby will grow super fast.
Besides, I find that people don't gift clothes much as the child grows older so save your pennies for the toddler age to teenage years when you'd still be in charge of buying their clothes.
WRAPS & CLOTHS
They try to market those sleeping bags to mothers because you shouldn’t use blankets to cover baby in the crib because of suffocating risk, but don’t buy them until they're older because babies love to be swaddled for at least three to four months. It reminds them of the womb. Initially muslin wraps will be the best way to do this.
Lots of people recommend the love to dream swaddles. I used it cause it was convenient and because they swaddle with babies hands up by their head which lots of babies like. You would need about 2 love to dream swaddles. But I also wrapped her in muslins until she was almost 4 months.
If you have a messy bottle drinker you'll need some baby bibs. I have a few but rarely used one because I exclusively breastfed until she was weaning. Perhaps get a couple and you can always buy more once you know whether you are using them.
You can never have too many cheap muslin wraps. Get ones big enough that you can swaddle baby in. They should be about 1m length for swaddling. The muslin has stretch factor so you can swaddle baby tightly. They're also good for putting over the pram to block sun or a breeze etc. I have 9 that I use in rotation and use it too as a feeding cover when I need to cover myself when Bub is breastfeeding in public.
Burp cloths - I find that muslins work best for these (see above). I had one in each room and carry one with me everywhere in the pram wrapped over the mattress for when she spits up in her sleep or poo runs out of the diaper (fun!)
Little wash cloths for bathing. I use an 'adult' face towel for her. I put it on her chest and stomach whislt she is in the bath. The weight of the adult one makes them feel more secure after being wrapped/swaddled the whole day. I have three that she uses in rotation.
I also have about 4 baby towels (two of which are freebie ones from the bounty packs) and always have one hanging in the bathroom because you never know when you'll need to quickly rinse the baby (from two months plus) off when they've made a mess and its easier to put them under a tap. This way you never have to leave your baby unattended in a bath and run off to get a towel.
2 x fitted sheet for bassinette/cot mattress
2 x waterproof mattress protector (buy natural not synthetic material)
Small Towels I have one on the change mat where I change her - it is so much easier to wash the towel if it gets poo or pee on it and it keeps her a bit warmer. Newborns get cold very easily and always cry when they have their diaper changed because of that.
EQUIPMENT
Bassinette – I've been told to hire one of the hospital ones because they are really light and portable, so when baby is awake and you need to have a shower or go to the bathroom etc, you can just wheel baby with you. Also, no one tells you how NOISY babies are when they sleep and the hospital ones are clear so when baby makes weird hacking snorting noises you won't have to get up and down all night to check on them, youll be able to see. Bassinettes only get used 3 months max. I hired a Bed nest which you line up to your bed and that was great for me to have in the first four months because I never had to get out of bed at night to breast feed (In the beginning, you still have to get up because newborns poo with every feed so you have to change their diaper every two hours, but once that stopped after 6 weeks, I just take her out, feed and then pop her right back and I go back to sleep). But the BedNest has since had a very tragic case related to it so I think if I ever go back to having number 2, I'd just use our existing travel cot.
Change table - I didn't get one because once babies start crawling/ rolling, these things get dangerous, but in the first month I put the rubber change mat on top of a chest of drawers so that I didn't have to bend over too much, It's better for your back. Then when she could roll we just changed her on the floor on top of the rubber mat. At toddler age, good luck pinning them down for a change. We just chase her around the house until she gets distracted by something and stops.
Pram- Frankly this is a personal choice depending on how you envisage your lifestyle to be with Bub. For e.g, my friend wanted to eat out a lot so she chose one that would be eye level at the table so that Baby gets included in the gathering. Some people get big wheels to navigate cobble stones and outdoor terrain better. I was advised to get one that folds to flat lying position as you shouldn’t sit baby upright until at least six months old. I reckon baby jogger has the best prams price and utility wise for outdoors. I have a bugaboo bee though which becomes a stroller when they are older and is really light so I can easily carry it up and down stairs on tubes and in our flat. Don't bother to buy a bassinette to put in the pram for when baby is under 6 months. They are expensive - we just bought a second hand one off eBay and I only got a coccoon instead of the basinnette. Some others just use their car seat (maxi cosi) and attach it to their stroller chassis (see if you have this option with your choice of pram). Mind you, when she started going to nursery I ended up with a Baby Yoyo as it was tough getting space in the buggy shed plus this stroller folds up tiny and compact for travelling and those narrow cafes and restaurants in London.
Baby swing seat/ bouncer - Get something small that you can move from spot to spot not one of those big giant ones. I'd recommend one that have a vibrating motion so that you don't have to be there constantly rocking them. Id buy second hand or get a friend to lend you one. It'll give you a few minutes to cook dinner or whatever while baby looks around and watches your movements.
Baby Bath - Get something small that has a plug in the bottom so that it's not too difficult to empty. I use a Tippi toes one and it is great! But when she was a newborn we bathed her in the sink with a Puj bath. I bought it second hand and that was great to save water and to save your back from having to bend over too low especially in the early stages of motherhood when you are still recovering.
Baby monitor - Our place is small so we don't really use one, but I know friends recommend the motion and sound ones so that there is an alarm that tells them if the baby stopped breathing!! But up to you.
Baby carrier – a sling is good for small babies, but takes a while to learn how to do. If you want to be able to carry baby around when they get older you really have to start them from birth because they learn to love being so close and the motion and also because you get stronger as bubs gets heavier over time. Baby wearing is quite a big thing now and it is an alternate way to help strengthen the baby's neck muscles if they don't want to do tummy time, I found this really helped My little one put her head up from a very young age even though I never strictly put her on tummy time. If you are interested I would recommend looking up a sling library near you. That way you'll make a more informed decision on which carrier to get. Just don't get a Baby Bjorn - they are horrible for baby's hips! I use the Ergobaby more after the first 3 months when she wass older and no longer needed an insert for it.
FEEDING
Hydrogel breast pads to put in the fridge and then on sore nipples and Lansinoh nipple cream!
If you plan on doing any bottle feeding of expressed milk or in the event you have to use formula then you'll need to buy the following. Some people talk about babies getting nipple confusion (sucking from a bottle is a much different action to sucking from a breast and it can confuse babies to the point they wont take the breast as its much harder than the bottle), but after a week and if breast feeding is established, there is no reason to not introduce the bottle.
I didn't really have a choice to use bottles in the beginning as with her jaundice, I had to introduce formula top-ups. So the list is based on my circumstances where you want to breastfeed but need some feeding equipment. Be careful though, most babies suddenly get fussy at 4 months old and refuse the bottle, so my counterparts shop around for teats until they find one their baby will take. I on the other hand didn't bother so she stopped bottle feeding until 7 months when she took it up again.
Teats - my friend's lactation consultant (L/C) at hospital recommended the Pigeon teats, but specifically the 'SS' teat or the Peristaltic teat, The SS teat's milk flow is quite slow and baby needs to suck hard to get milk - similar to the breast. This teat also fits on Avent bottles. I just used normal avent ones.
A steriliser
Bottle brush and teat brush
A breast pump. The medela swing is highly rated as electric breast pump. I use the Avent electric one and swear by it compared to a manual one. I am already so tired doing everything else, I don't need to be exerting energy manually pumping too. I think your opinion depends on your early breastfeeding experience. If you have a good supply and only need to express occasionally then a hand pump works 100% fine. So my advice is not to buy anything until you know what you need. The hospital will make a pump available for you to use while you are there although in the early days before your milk comes in, this may be quite a futile exercise.
Comfortable feeding chair for night times. I don't have one due to lack of space but did prop myself up with lots of cushions/ pillows in the beginning for before the baby can sit up by themselves to feed. My friend bought one from Ikea for about $50 it looks like the ikea poang chair but is cheaper. The glider chairs you can buy from baby shops are SO ugly but so comfortable. But expensive.
Feeding pillow - I don't always use one, I just use normal pillows/ cushions.
Dummy/Pacifier - Lots of people are against dummies. I wasn't but she didn't know how to take her dummy until she went to nursery and picked up the habit there! Sometimes when babies have a burp/wind stuck they like to suck on something to reduce the pain.
Formula - Have a few small bottles of the ready made ones ready just in case you need to feed after coming home from hospital for whatever reason if your milk hasn't come in, but if you choose powder, don't open the tin until you absolutely need it and also don't buy big tins initially because these things don't last after a month of opening the packaging.
SAFETY
Capsule or Car seat - You have to buy these new because you don't know if the second hand ones have been involved in accidents, which is a hassle because they're expensive. Otherwise you can hire if you just need it for small trips but if you're going to have more than one baby you might as well buy one
You can also get a capsule for the first 6 months. Capsules are easier to get baby in and out of the car without disturbing them because they clip into a base and you can carry the capsule around with you. But these capsules are really heavy with baby inside, just a word of caution.
Otherwise you can forgo the capsule and buy a reversible car seat like the Safe and Sound Meridian AHR or Maxi Cosi one which is a really nice comfy seat that will last them from birth till about age 3-4, but its not portable. Most people get the Maxi Cosi child seat with infant insert so they can use it for a long time. The capsule is too expensive for 6 months of use.
CLEANING
Nappies galore!! For the first three to four weeks you'll go through about 10-12 nappies per 24 hours. Then it settles to about 6-7 diapers a day, but I always carry four in my changing bag before I leave the house. That seems to be my magic number.
Baby wipes. You'll go through REAMS of these. I bought heaps of these from my 2nd trimester onwards. I still had a massive pile of wipes till 8 months because in the beginning I wanted to avoid chemicals on her and so only washed her with water and cotton wool.
A Barrier cream to prevent nappy rash -Sudocream is good but I use Lucas pawpaw usually and only use Sudocrem when there is an actual nappy rash. You must use barrier cream until they are a toddler every time you change a diaper because prevention is better than cure.
Body wash/Shampoo - Babies don’t really need a body wash or shampoo you can just wash them in plain water but if you do buy one I like the Lansinoh organic brand.
An organic sweet almond oil for moisturising and massage. Babies love massage. Also good for soothing cradle cap etc.
Cotton wool and cotton buds wool for wiping bubbies face and buds for cleaning the umbilical cord etc.
A chemical free clothes washing powder for baby clothes. I use a bio washing detergent anyhow because Mr.HEA has sensitive skin, but this one is up to you.
MEDICINE:
Infant Panadol - you can use this from 1 month onwards and might need it when baby goes for 6/ 8 week immunisations. She had a bit of a fever and felt unwell after her immunisations. It is good to have some on hand - no doubt you'll need it in the middle of the night when you can't find a 24 hour pharmacy. I didn't realise they sell it in sugar free options too, but definitely something you'd look out for.
Thermometer to measure temp - I recommend ones that go into the ear or now they have those laser ones, but I have been told that they aren't that accurate. I hardly ever measure her temperature, I just use my hands to touch the back of her neck to see if she was warm or cold. Babies' hands and feet are always cold because they don't regulate temperature very well. So always feel the back of their neck.
Infacol - It is really good for when baby has winds/cramps.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, 20 January 2017
What makes a Happy Chinese New Year?
The last week has been exhaustingly mundane. No instagrammable activities to get excited over, just a load of ticking timebomb tantrums from the toddler and me willing time to go faster because I wish for the indulgent and friendly Chinese New Year celebrations to be upon us.
This year I've planned for four gatherings over two weekends. Two outside and two hosted in our humble flat. Mr HEA grumbles at the enormity of it all. He would be perfectly happy cuddled up on the couch in slippers and his flannel pyjamas proudly relishing in his role of Asian Dad. Christmas is after all just one day or one long weekend if you were like us. But CNY is fifteen days. Most years he swears I make things up as I go along. He thinks the seventh day people's birthday, the Chinese Valentine's Day and the reunion dinner on the eve are just my gimmicks to get more presents or excuses to eat more Chinese foods that he isn't interested in. How Banana (yellow on the outside, white on the inside in case you hadn't heard the term before) is my man!
I roll up my sleeves as I roll flat the meat for my Ba Kwa determined that my LO will be educated on the right things about our heritage. I am pleased to see her nursery embracing the holiday. She comes home daily with red glitter all over as they collage roosters and make paper dragon lanterns for CNY celebrations. I dropped her off today with a lion dance puppet for Circle time hoping that the children will benefit from the authentic prop whilst singing their Chinese New Year songs ( to the tune of Mary had a little lamb though??!!?)
I think when she is older I'll rope her into the preparations but for now, I am keeping it simple and opting for store bought alternatives where possible.
Gathering 1: opted for Hotpot so it's BYO things that my guests love to eat but all I'd have to do would be to make the stock, get the dipping sauces, drinks, as well as stuff I'd like to eat ( prep prawns of course as that's my fav), and prepare the Yee Sang salad and desserts (sugee cookies, fruit platter).
Gathering 2: Planning a sit down dinner but I'll likely buy the following:
Peking Duck (M&S does a really good pop into the oven version)
Spring rolls (Frozen ones from freezer section of Asian shop)
Make:
Noodles
Radish cake
Yee Sang
Siew mai
Ba Kwa
CNY cookies
It is important that my little girl learns about the things we celebrate as Chinese. I feel my grandma in me as I think this but unlike my teenage self, I am proud to feel that. I no longer abhor my Malaysian Chinese heritage as I now have come to embrace the unique ways this melting pot London society come together. Everyone is celebrated here. So I smile to myself as the staff in our local Asian shop is inundated by questions from the Causasian folk trying to interpret the Chinese instructions for how to steam frozen dumplings for CNY, once more whilst I lovingly wrap each Siew Mai at home trying to swat away the curious toddler's fingers from the raw mince filling. Chinese Spring is in the air. That's all that matters.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
This year I've planned for four gatherings over two weekends. Two outside and two hosted in our humble flat. Mr HEA grumbles at the enormity of it all. He would be perfectly happy cuddled up on the couch in slippers and his flannel pyjamas proudly relishing in his role of Asian Dad. Christmas is after all just one day or one long weekend if you were like us. But CNY is fifteen days. Most years he swears I make things up as I go along. He thinks the seventh day people's birthday, the Chinese Valentine's Day and the reunion dinner on the eve are just my gimmicks to get more presents or excuses to eat more Chinese foods that he isn't interested in. How Banana (yellow on the outside, white on the inside in case you hadn't heard the term before) is my man!
I roll up my sleeves as I roll flat the meat for my Ba Kwa determined that my LO will be educated on the right things about our heritage. I am pleased to see her nursery embracing the holiday. She comes home daily with red glitter all over as they collage roosters and make paper dragon lanterns for CNY celebrations. I dropped her off today with a lion dance puppet for Circle time hoping that the children will benefit from the authentic prop whilst singing their Chinese New Year songs ( to the tune of Mary had a little lamb though??!!?)
I think when she is older I'll rope her into the preparations but for now, I am keeping it simple and opting for store bought alternatives where possible.
Gathering 1: opted for Hotpot so it's BYO things that my guests love to eat but all I'd have to do would be to make the stock, get the dipping sauces, drinks, as well as stuff I'd like to eat ( prep prawns of course as that's my fav), and prepare the Yee Sang salad and desserts (sugee cookies, fruit platter).
Gathering 2: Planning a sit down dinner but I'll likely buy the following:
Peking Duck (M&S does a really good pop into the oven version)
Spring rolls (Frozen ones from freezer section of Asian shop)
Make:
Noodles
Radish cake
Yee Sang
Siew mai
Ba Kwa
CNY cookies
It is important that my little girl learns about the things we celebrate as Chinese. I feel my grandma in me as I think this but unlike my teenage self, I am proud to feel that. I no longer abhor my Malaysian Chinese heritage as I now have come to embrace the unique ways this melting pot London society come together. Everyone is celebrated here. So I smile to myself as the staff in our local Asian shop is inundated by questions from the Causasian folk trying to interpret the Chinese instructions for how to steam frozen dumplings for CNY, once more whilst I lovingly wrap each Siew Mai at home trying to swat away the curious toddler's fingers from the raw mince filling. Chinese Spring is in the air. That's all that matters.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, 3 January 2017
New year New me
This is something I hardly ever do, but I will try to keep the resolve. It is a wonderful time of my life as a mother as the toddler becomes more understanding and helpful. I find myself looking towards the next stage of life more readily now. This time I will be more prepared, less stressed and hopefully happier with everything to go as they will.
It feels as though the first steps of motherhood really took me by surprise and my child seems to have developed her personality and understanding of the world entirely by herself. I am merely a bystander observing in fraught wonder.
She has figured out descriptive words, the concept of possession, imaginary play all by herself. Each day I spend with her she surprises me with what she's managed to understand. I caught her trying to count backwards before she launched off the mat, her imaginary rocket launchpad. Her dad called her baby cakes yesterday and she said, mummy's the baby cakes. She is a cupcake. She asks Why at everything we want her to do that she refuses to. She sings happy albeit tunelessly. She also said yesterday at dinner that Daddy's the man. Ok fine we were trying to get her to say Superman, but perhaps she's figured it out, she doesn't need a fictional superhero when she's got Daddyman in her life, a real life superhero.
Sometimes I find myself forgetting to view him as that anymore. Focusing only on the things he isn't or hasn't done. It's detrimental to our relationship. So this year, I will change. I will focus on the positive. See the good and funny once more and choosing the view that laughs at life's more challenging moments.
Like this one where she is still in her NYE party dress the day after because she refused to take it off. I can't help it, instead of getting frustrated, I let her twirl about in her pink tulle, knowing she won't be little forever and there will be a time when this is no longer cute. So dance on my little one. I will just be here capturing the moments.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
It feels as though the first steps of motherhood really took me by surprise and my child seems to have developed her personality and understanding of the world entirely by herself. I am merely a bystander observing in fraught wonder.
She has figured out descriptive words, the concept of possession, imaginary play all by herself. Each day I spend with her she surprises me with what she's managed to understand. I caught her trying to count backwards before she launched off the mat, her imaginary rocket launchpad. Her dad called her baby cakes yesterday and she said, mummy's the baby cakes. She is a cupcake. She asks Why at everything we want her to do that she refuses to. She sings happy albeit tunelessly. She also said yesterday at dinner that Daddy's the man. Ok fine we were trying to get her to say Superman, but perhaps she's figured it out, she doesn't need a fictional superhero when she's got Daddyman in her life, a real life superhero.
Sometimes I find myself forgetting to view him as that anymore. Focusing only on the things he isn't or hasn't done. It's detrimental to our relationship. So this year, I will change. I will focus on the positive. See the good and funny once more and choosing the view that laughs at life's more challenging moments.
Like this one where she is still in her NYE party dress the day after because she refused to take it off. I can't help it, instead of getting frustrated, I let her twirl about in her pink tulle, knowing she won't be little forever and there will be a time when this is no longer cute. So dance on my little one. I will just be here capturing the moments.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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