It feels as though the first steps of motherhood really took me by surprise and my child seems to have developed her personality and understanding of the world entirely by herself. I am merely a bystander observing in fraught wonder.
She has figured out descriptive words, the concept of possession, imaginary play all by herself. Each day I spend with her she surprises me with what she's managed to understand. I caught her trying to count backwards before she launched off the mat, her imaginary rocket launchpad. Her dad called her baby cakes yesterday and she said, mummy's the baby cakes. She is a cupcake. She asks Why at everything we want her to do that she refuses to. She sings happy albeit tunelessly. She also said yesterday at dinner that Daddy's the man. Ok fine we were trying to get her to say Superman, but perhaps she's figured it out, she doesn't need a fictional superhero when she's got Daddyman in her life, a real life superhero.
Sometimes I find myself forgetting to view him as that anymore. Focusing only on the things he isn't or hasn't done. It's detrimental to our relationship. So this year, I will change. I will focus on the positive. See the good and funny once more and choosing the view that laughs at life's more challenging moments.
Like this one where she is still in her NYE party dress the day after because she refused to take it off. I can't help it, instead of getting frustrated, I let her twirl about in her pink tulle, knowing she won't be little forever and there will be a time when this is no longer cute. So dance on my little one. I will just be here capturing the moments.
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