But as I think ahead to tomorrow, I reflect back on the two months past and can’t believe the way we have emerged from the woods now. There was a point when thing after thing about her worried me and kept me up on Google, but bit by bit I am letting go. Last night I said to the Mister completely out of character, ” The dishes can wait, it is more important to cuddle your daughter” and we turned off the TV to watch her play on her activity gym, admiring how strong she kicks, lovingly stroking her arched back as she strains keeping her head lifted, teasing her with the hidden sounds in the mat that she hasn’t yet discovered for herself.
I love how we are now a solid threesome. She joins us without fail for every dinner. She’s always been like that but now all the grandfolks have gone home and I am glad she still wants to share meals with us. She is steadily putting on weight now, her rounded belly so cute to massage ( she let me massage her this week!) and bathe. And when she hated being taken out of the warm bath, her reflection in the mirror distracts her fussing, she then coos at herself.
Sleep at night is easier with her not kicking up a fuss to go into her Bednest. Some other mothers have already moved their kid to the next room but I couldn’t quite yet. She’s my baby still for now.
We are proud that we didn’t turn to mush at her first fever after her shots this week. We managed to be there for her and not over fuss. She was so good at the doctor’s office, not even upset at her surprise soiled nappy, until nurse Hannah jabbed her with those two large needles and I held her as accomplice. It was a tough moment, the firm grip that I hoped she felt was comforting rather than betrayal. Thank goodness she forgave me and wanted me to continue to cuddle her after.
It’s been a good two months, moving into our new home, taking her on her first car ride and first disco sesh. She’s getting more used to dinner dates too having slept through the Pembroke, the Crabtree, Alquimia, Duck & Waffle and then wide awake at Dishoom. She’s starting to coo more often and has discovered that it’s soothing to suck her own hands.
We wish for her to develop more, particularly a smile in response, but am afraid she’d outgrow the 240 accidental order of Size 2 nappies I have in store. The dillemmas of parenthood, but they cannot compare to how blessed I am to wake up to her stretching every morning knowing that I may just stay there next to her all day and not need to leave her side for the rest of this year.
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