Her Godfather has no kids but is a great cook, and hosts great barbecues. One time after having attended one of his house parties she said to me she doesn’t like Godpa’s house. He has no toys. Only food and drink. That’s probably right.
Once during our potty training weekend mornings she wet our bed because she’d climbed in in the morning without a nappy. I did get rather cross with her as she knew she wasn’t allowed. As I was trying to explain the consequences to her,” where’s Mummy going to sleep now?” To which she promptly replied,”me!” And Daddy? She shrugs her shoulders and makes a nonchalant face at that.
Sometimes I get lazy with Mummy duties. Last night we were in the shower together and she suddenly announces she needs to use the potty. Scanning the bathroom the potty was outside, and we were both dripping wet so I told her she can just pee in the shower. She shakes her head and says that would make Mummy very unhappy. Good girl errr she passed the test. I held her on the toilet seat after that.
One night I was co sleeping with her and she kept kicking me for play so I told her off and she retorted: Why is it ok for Mei Mei (little sister) to kick you then from inside?
Towards the end of my finishing up at work she’d really been struggling with going to bed and waking up in the mornings. Then in her cranky state she’d argue that she really should be working and not to nursery. So I said to her one morning. Ok what skills do you have to find work with? “ Jumping” Upon my suggestion that she could work at a circus she responds with, “ But I wouldn’t want to runaway.”
On another occasion when we had another discussion about why she needs to go to nursery she demanded that she needs to go to Midtown High instead. That’s where Peter Parker aka Spider-Man goes to school.
My toddler has lately taken to demanding my husband reads her the ‘101 whiskeys to drink before you die’ guide to her. I was telling her I had a sore shoulder one time and she said,” Don’t worry mummy, I am sure it isn’t anything. It’s probably just a Monkey Shoulder.” ( Monkey Shoulder is an actual Whiskey name but also the name of the condition developed by men who used to malt barley by hand).
Following on the theme of anything with words can be read, she broke into my hospital bag yesterday and took an interest to the pamphlet on Perineum tears and massages and wanted me to read it to her. Halfway through the leaflet having mumbled through all the lady parts names that I didn’t want her to take an interest in repeating she asks,” Mummy what’s a...” and I hold my breath wondering which new word she has picked up, “ ...midwife?” Phew.
We told her it wasn’t convention to say Bless you when someone coughed, rather we pat them on the back. One morning as I was having breakfast with her she suddenly got gone from her chair and started walking around the flat looking around. I asked her what was the matter and she said,” Daddy’s coughing”. My husband woke up to her staring at him patiently waiting for him to turn around so that she could pat him on his back for a cough that happened maybe 10 minutes ago by that point.
She found the family circle assorted biscuits box in our recycling bin and decided to study the pictures. After some deep consideration she announces,” I have an idea. I would like to have a chocolate biscuit please.”
My mum was singing the Mandarin version of Old MacDonald had a farm. She then asked Miss 2.5 if she knows this one. Miss 2.5 doesn’t and replies. “I only know Old MacDonald. It’s not the same. He is more famous.”
She’s really bad at Math. We would offer her a limited amount of biscuits or tell her the time limit left before we need to move on and she’d always try to negotiate with us. However without fail, every time she will ask for “one biscuit or one more minute” even if we’ve offered her more. We just go with the flow.
Daddy is tickling her against her wishes. She says,” you’re so naughty!” Daddy says,” what’s that?” “Naughty means not listening.”
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