One month full time SAHM with two

This June I set myself a challenge to see if I could have the two children with me full time. No childcare. No holidays. Just us three for five days a week and then with Daddy on the weekends.

It was hard I won’t lie. I worried about the toddler. She challenges me more and more each day with her defiance, her sass and her acting out due to her need for attention. I can not contain her and often this month I have felt like a failure of a Mum. I sometimes do wonder if I have a good grasp at all on what to do with her. Twice this month I have gotten so frustrated with her that I have tried to make her feel bad over what little selfish thing she had done to upset me. Petty of me, because of course she doesn’t understand how when I am tired or sick I can’t play with her anymore. She just demands it regardless of any circumstance. I need to accept that I am to be her everything when she is on my watch. Other days I teeter between using kind language to persuade her to concede versus using threats of cancelling treats or activities and I feel like a crazy lady when her antics escalate to all sorts of cray to drive me up the wall.

Last week alone on Monday, she defied me and opened a gate at a pub which had a sign to say Do not Enter which I had read to her and then lied to say Peter Rabbit was responsible. On Tuesday, she got bored in Mandarin class and decided to walk out to play and when I dragged her back into class she hit her baby sister on her rage. Wednesday she was lovely until I tried to explain to her it may be nice to lend some toys to a visiting friend whose little boy had lost all his toys in Hurricane Irma and she kept shouting he could have none. Thursday she insisted on jumping into her sister’s cot after I had out her down for the night resulting in of course her waking her sister up. Is this all just attention seeking behaviour? Is it normal Three year old behaviour can anyone confirm to me? I miss my sweet little two year old now. She may have tantrumed then but she was never as naughty or mean as she is now.

It wasn’t all hard though. It has been a lovely hot June and so the girls have enjoyed playgrounds, play dates, wetlands, picnics galore, even caught the changing of the guards and visited two museums.

Picnics make it so much easier as eating al fresco means very little cleaning up. It also means easy to little cooking. I’ve been boiling some easy finger veg and find boiled eggs make very easy BLW picnic food. Otherwise, a bit of sliced cheese or poached chicken is always welcome protein. Fruit is also at their best this season making easy and healthy puddings for these picnics.




Eating at home required lots of easy meals. I find myself buying pre-prepped veg quite a lot so that often I only need to blanch them in boiling water and serve up with easy oven or slow cooked protein options.



These were Asian meals, premade and frozen dumplings, batch made stock, one pot rice cooker steamed miso cod and sous vide bulgogi beef with Korean rice cakes, udon or fried rice have been easy crowd pleasers.




On the western meals front, if it isn’t pasta with leftover roast, then I’ve opted to buy ready meals or premarinated meats such as tortillas, pies, lamb kebabs, chicken goujons or breaded fish are also generally easy toddler meals.

That’s all done and dusted now. June’s taster of being a full time SAHM. The flat isn’t as clean as I’d like. The children weren’t always as well turned out as i would have liked. But the important thing is that we are all loving and growing together. I just need to mother on and keep my eye on the prize.




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Summer of Love 2018

I love you two so much
My heart overflows
It’s hard to capture all memories
As time beyond me goes.

This year I spend each day with thee
Our weeks so fulfillingly intertwine
With song, dance, hugs and glee
At picnics, park play in the sunshine.

Together we grow and learn more each day
As Baby becomes more mobile
Preschooler practices numbers, phonics, independent play
It makes giving up my sleep worthwhile.

It’s been climbing, twirling and cuddles galore
But cheeky grins, witty sass and tantrums too
We read stories, non-fiction and rhyme till I can last no more
We share countless meals and sneak snacks with my beloved two.

Time cheats us my dears
Seven months has in a blink passed us by
I believe the laughter has outlast the tears
And it’s time well spent I don’t deny.

One day you shall each have your little ones
I hope then I will still hold you close.
And remember the days in our flat when I held you two once
Hoping for the best I can give you, your futures, only God knows.







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Stolen moments: Making daisy chains

“Mummy, thank you for all the treats today. May we do this again tomorrow?”Miss ‘sugar and spice’ Three thanks me for simple things( a cup of milk and a vitamin) she delights in.

At the moment, life is brilliant for us. The baby is learning to crawl, can sit up and discovers new foods everyday. All the toothless smiles and her determination to inch forward or upward to reach yet another toy never ceases to amaze me. Perhaps because her sister was lazy and never quite as bothered to exert effort, we are not entirely sure what lies ahead for us parenting a wilful toddler.







Miss Three is currently obsessed with trying to climb the taller apparatus in the playgrounds and trees in the park, but she isn’t quite the daredevil only stretching herself a teeny bit more each time. Equally capturing her interest is her new Leapfrog toy that teaches her to write letters and numbers.



I remember different emotions from when I was on Mat Leave the first time around. The sleep deprivation got to me. The lack of friends and confidence left me bereft with a proclivity to self-pity and depression taking it out all the time on the husband and blaming him for my unhappiness.

“I used to say to myself that happiness and misery depend on ourselves. If you feel unhappy, raise your self above unhappiness, and so act that your happiness may be independent of all eventualities.”

Catherine the Great


The recipe these days when the sun’s out:
1)Pack sandwiches/pasta salad, a pack of crisps/ popcorn, fruit, a snack of cheese or biscuits and fruit shoot/smoothie pack.

2)Find a park or garden to eat/run/scoot around in.

There are simple games Miss Three enjoys when there aren’t any playgrounds, such as chasing bubbles, tracking down dandelions and counting the time with each blow, making daisy chains or sometimes just running through tall grass or daffodils. It doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive.














Had we chosen a different city to live in, life would be different. We are blessed in London and I try not to take each blue sky day for granted. It’s hard to remember these uneventful, mundane days but I am so fulfilled that just buying a new electric toothbrush is enough to send me to the moon. I want this post to remind me of the laughter, the joy, the lessons learnt and the growing pains. After all it happens just a tad too quick and I will be caught in the rat race again all too soon. Feeling ever guilty and ever so inadequate. For now, I know I am giving them my all and enjoying every moment stolen.

Six months

I don’t know how we managed to get here, but yet here we are.

You have truly brought joy to my life in ways I didn’t experience before. Motherhood is such a pleasure when you beam and gargle at us all the time.

I love your enthusiasm every morning, I love your bright smiles when you see your sister each time especially love how amused you are by her jumps or one liners. I love that you demand so little even though you need much more. Especially when your sister is being a diva, you are so chilled and reserved.

I think you are strong though. I see your determination when you’ve set your heart on something. I feel your resolve as you tense your little limbs up and prepare to launch at something you’ve decided you want. I see your little eyes watching and observing every detail around you. I think you will be fine.

When I named you, I thought of encompassing joy, grace, and leadership into your name, and now we’ve had you for six months I believe it will come to be. But in the meantime as you grow with your sister, I pray that you both will get along well and that I will continue to be fair with my level of attention to both of you. You two are my world now and even when I wake in the wee hours of the morning and have to be drip fed caffeine to survive each day, I love you and your sister so much my heart could burst.

Happy six months my Lou. Stay active and inquisitive. I look forward to introducing you to more foods and hope you will be a good eater like your sister. I look forward to watching you learn to crawl and stand with the same grace you learnt how to roll over and sit up. The days are not long enough the ones I spend with you. I treasure every single moment you bestow upon us and look forward to many more belly cackles and cuddles.







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Raising a child in London

Just know that this post has been two years in the writing. Londonkiwi Emma first suggested I write a post comparing motherhood here versus back home and I thought it was a great idea, but between figuring out the parenting thing and trying to build new friendships ( because making mother friends are a whole new social circle to invest time in), this all fell to the wayside.



It’s a new year though and whilst we’d always postponed decision making for 2019, we started talking recently about the question weighing on our minds; Are we going to move back home? We love our lives at the moment but London is a transient place and we have said goodbye to so many of our couple friends who have their kids here and then move home to be around family whilst raising their kids.



As our family is dispersed among Australia, Malaysia and Hong Kong, there isn’t a great pulling power for us to head home. If anything, I’d have to find my feet again and find out how to parent in Sydney all over. Figure out the schools, the good parks, find our favourite family restaurants, get weekly shopping done, getting used to new produce to suit my family’s tastebuds. It all seems a lot of effort and I’d give anything at the moment to just have a nice little updated Victorian terrace house in London to raise our children in.



So herewith is my list of London versus Sydney comparing how we’d raise kids in both.



1) NCT groups versus local council run mother groups.

I paid for our ante natal classes in London. It seems to be a thing all the new mums do to meet local mums here. The other locally run children centres and clinics don’t seem to have as much pull in my experience for meeting new mums. Perhaps because there isn’t a commitment for mothers to attend weekly since it’s free and so I haven’t really established good friendships through those. In Sydney I understand the local council runs mother groups and I have heard many sing praises of the friendships they’ve built from these groups that last beyond maternity leave and their children become fast friends. Half of our NCT group have moved away though since Greater London doesn't seem to be the place people tend to imagine themselves raising kids, too expensive, too polluted or not enough of a work life balance. Whilst this works for first time mums it generally doesn’t work for subsequent children though as toddlers will be bored at baby sessions or are sometimes generally not allowed. In this I’d say the alternative is to huddle with the other second time mums at toddler playgroups or classes and compare notes or commiserate together.



2) Walking versus driving everywhere.

I have become reliant on public transport in getting me everywhere with my children. Buses and trains take me directly to some free museums, city farms and parks that are extremely engaging for my little ones. In Sydney, I’d probably be looking to local libraries, parks and the beach for free kid friendly hangouts but most places are via driving access and I don’t know if I could get used to screaming babies in tow when I am battling traffic or finding a parking space.



3) Jumping in puddles versus heading to the beach.

Got Peppa Pig to thank for this one but in Autumn/ Winter British kids just live in Wellies. I must say it is a great way to encourage them to walk more as I almost never need a pram for our school run if I can assure her there’s a host of muddy puddles for her to look out for along our way home. If we were in Sydney however, our place was only fifteen minutes away from some of the best beaches in the world so I’d probably be slathering sunscreen on my toddler instead of slipping on wellie liners.









4) Compliance parenting versus Australian parenting styles.

British children are raised to be polite and obedient in a very traditional way. Children are just not allowed to tantrum in public. I remember a British old lady telling me off when I was letting my baby practice walking along the pavement one evening. She said to me this was going to take us all night to get home innit? With the Brits I can never quite tell if they are being passive aggressive or just wry. I usually respond in nervous giggles if in doubt of their intention. I find Australians conform to more modern if American styles of parenting, such as Breast is best, Baby led weaning and Gentle sleep training methods as opposed to formula feeding, purées and Crying it out. It may just be in my circle of experience but I did find I was on my own in London when I employed Australian preferred methods to my child rearing.



5) No poisonous spiders or lizards to worry about.

Seriously everything in Australia can kill you. Even the birds (according to this article). At most we get Spiders in the flat about a month of the year in UK. Otherwise you hardly ever see them. I just remember and still see on Facebook living in Sydney the terrors of encountering a Huntsman in your closet or a snake in your backyard. I am not entirely prepared to deal with that again especially with inquisitive children in tow.



6) Exposure to all sorts of first generation migrant cultures and a stronger tendency towards bilingualism

In London, as it is such a melting pot of immigrants, I find a lot of the children grow up learning at least two languages. Even the nursery my daughter attends teach French and Spanish as part of their curriculum. This is not something I experienced in Sydney, with most of my husband's contemporaries learning only English although perhaps there may be a shift towards teaching more Mandarin these days given the influx of Chinese migrants that are having children in Sydney and truthfully, for my cultural background, I would prefer that. Also my husband tells me that he is able to feel Australian here in London where else back home he was always made to feel Asian when someone was getting to know him. Subtle difference perhaps but I suppose he’d much prefer the former.



7) British tastebuds versus Australian tastebuds

Eating out in London with kids is boring. Their menus always seem to consist of battered fish or chicken goujons, sausages and some sort of pasta. Frankly, I'd prefer the restaurants to say yes they can do a kids sized version of some of the adult dishes so that our kids can experience a more diverse range of foods without waste. I see they do this in Australian cafes back home and I see children who love their food, eating a wide range of seafoods and cuisines. My own daughter won't even touch avocado, which is devastating for me.



8) The convenience of Amazon Prime. And just generally having access to all global brands available with delivery services.
I have gotten very used to the convenience of living in London with Amazon prime for everything. It sure makes it easier than heading out to the shops with two kids in British weather. This may not be as bad anymore in Australia with online shopping fast becoming a normality too in Sydney but still I thought it was worth a mention.




9) Everybody looks for outdoor space when looking for nurseries in London. Truth be told I don’t think we’d be different in Australia but I suppose good outdoor spaces are harder to find in London. And if you were wondering what to look for when visiting a nursery, I found this article to be helpful in your decision making. My daughter’s current nursery backs out onto the train tracks so I worry about noise pollution for her, but she hardly ever spends time outdoors in nursery so I have made peace with that in exchange for a convenient location for my commute to work around the school run.



10) Snow versus 47 celcius days
London days are cold. We have had many snow days this winter. Far more than I’d ever remember in my few years here. At the same time my Aussie friends’ kids are living in pools because it’s 47°c days down under. It is a huge contrast but given I have one daughter who simply melts in heat and another that finds the cold insufferable, My hands are tied for this one. I will say this though, the nicer weather in Oz does make it easier to organise gatherings at parks and beaches for kids. Here in London we struggle to find non-grotty indoor spaces to take our children to that won’t cost a fortune to play.

So there you have it. London has four clear wins, Sydney has three, and three points where it’s just as good on both fronts.

We might just stay that little longer then to make this work out for us.



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